To transmute this substance, its two parts, Sol and Luna, King and Queen have to be wed. Jung assumed that this marriage was a ’synthetic process in the psyche ‘outside’ the ego.’[Jung, MC, pars 410] This realm outside the ego is already discussed by Maud Perkins in section 12 of http://www.world-mysteries.com/PhilipGardiner/forbidden_letters_25.htm. But what exactly did Jung mean by that realm ‘outside the ego’? He was referring there to ‘the microcosmic space of the psyche,’[pars 410] that space possibly being ‘a whole world in itself, a macrocosm.’[pars 412] Yet, ‘the fact that one can get into this territory (…) does not mean that it belongs to me personally. The ego is Here and Now, but the ‘outside-of-the-ego’ is an alien There. Both earlier and later, before and after. So it is not surprising that the primitive mind sensed the psyche outside the ego as an alien country, inhabited by the spirits of the dead. On a rather higher level it takes on the character of a shadowy semi-reality, and on the level of the ancient cultures, the shadows of that ‘land beyond’ have turned into ideas. In Gnostic-Christian circles these (ideas) were developed into a dogmatic, hierarchically arranged, cosmogonic and chiliastic system which appears to us moderns as an involuntary, symbolic statement of the psyche concerning the structure of the psychic non-ego. This region, if still seen as a spectral ‘land beyond’, appears to be a whole world in itself, a macrocosm. If, on the other hand, it is felt as ‘psychic’ and ‘inside’, it seems like a microcosm of the smallest proportions.[Jung, MC, pars 411 et 412] ‘Whoever wished to commit this (alchemical/Cambronne) act (…), would therefore have to get outside himself, as if into an external glasshouse, a round cucurbita which represented the microcosmic space of the psyche.’ [Jung, MC, pars 410] In the words of the Paris 4 from one of their ‘ridiculous Letters’[Knight-Jadczyk]:

‘If an alchemist travels through the earth, he’s doing that in the microcosmos of the body. Remember what we said: the real sun and moon (and earth) are in you. Not outside. And this explains why our friend could still hear common street noise outside his apartment when he traveled to the centre of the earth over 19 years ago with tremendous speed.’[The Paris 4]

In the 1920’s Sir Flinders Petrie ensured the British public that the Great Pyramid was nothing but ‘a tomb erected for Cheops, soured as he had been by the excesses of the followers of Piazzi Smyth who tried to turn that pyramid into a house of biblical prophecies.’[Oderberg] - But, there is in fact no indication ‘that anyone was ever interred in that pyramid.’[Oderberg]

The designer engineer Olaf Tellefsen evaluated the Great Pyramid as ‘unique, a special case, indicating superior knowledge, not manifest in other pyramids.’[Oderberg] The well-shaft for instance is ‘completely without meaning if that pyramid, equidistant from the pole and the center of the earth, is a tomb.’[Oderberg] And that shaft would of course be explained just fine if it enabled the adept to symbolically enter the earth; a key-phase in the alchemical process.

_____________________________________________________________

Most people are unfamiliar with the fact that the macrocosmic capstone of a pyramid, the pyramidion, represents the microcosmic Benben-stone, a.k.a. the Grail, or Philosopher’s Stone: the agent to the alchemical fire of Kundalini. Indeed ancient Egypt possessed ‘amazing kernels of alchemy’[Wedekind], especially if we look at the Resurrection. When, for example, the Paris 4 tell us that their man is ‘on the floor on his back,’ that a thread of some metaphysical kind closed ‘around his neck,’ decapitating him, and that a fire was then ignited by virtue of a stone, enveloping his body in flames, then we are immediately reminded of the hypocephalus of ancient Egypt:

‘A hypocephalus is a small diskshaped object that was placed under the head of the deceased. Because the ancient Egyptians believed it would magically cause the head and the body to be enveloped in flames and radiance, making the deceased divine.’[Wikipedia]

Alchemy is of course not about dead corpses. It is performed through a living Tree of Life (spine and brain) in a, hence, living body. And once that body through the Great Work is purified, ‘its union can take place with the astral body, whereby the Enochdianus emerges, the celestial man, i.e., man endowed with divine forces, which by right belong to man, because, in the words of Paracelsus, ‘heaven is man, and man is heaven, and all men one heaven, and heaven only one man.’[Pagel]

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In his 1945 Festschrift for Gustav Senn, Carl Jung said that the Stone of Alchemy was ‘a great embarrassment to the alchemist, for since it had never been produced, no one could say what it really was.’ It was said it was ‘born from a living thing’ and ‘extracted from man,’ and ‘its connection with immortality was attested from very early times,’ but, again, ‘no one could say what it really was.’

For Jung the most probable hypothesis was, that that stone represented ‘a psychic experience.’ This suggests that he indeed missed ‘the deeper level of alchemy and thereby of resurrection.’
[de Renzi, Fenelon, de la Censerie]
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“I too have approached several alchemists about the Letters, and they all have been in favour of them; that what is being divulged in them is true. One said that the secrets of Alchemy are no longer secret. Simple as that.” [Gary Osborn on July 12 2007]
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Because through the Forbidden Letters we know now that the Stone of Transmutation is indeed a real stone. That it…

‘…grows from flesh and blood…’[Jung]

…that it…

‘…is produced about where the liver is…’[The Paris 4]

…and that it is…

‘…even pointy and about the size of a child’s fist.’[The Paris 4]

That it…

‘…ignites the Kundalini-fire…’[The Paris 4]

… and that the Phoenix is a metaphor for the alchemist in that fire. [see footnote 2]
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‘Following this thread, we found evidence that Alchemy is a demonstration of the physics at work in the galactic core [which resides in our microcosm, according to the Paris 4/Jonathan Rice].The true inner core of Alchemy appears in this light as the ability to apply the physics of creation to the task of personal immortality.’ [Jay Weidner and Vincent Bridges]
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And this is very important too: if you produce that stone and were consumed and reproduced through that fire, you will achieve individual and physical immortality, and nothing less. Something for the End of Time therefore. Who ever died was not an alchemist and did not produce the stone.

By the way, your man is a gay man. Born on the 17th of January. In possession of that very special balance in microcosmic male and female forces. A balance never possessed by heterosexual men. And your stone is Christ (He who is near me is near the fire, and he who is near the fire is near the Kingdom). Also: 1 Peter 2:4.
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‘In view of the recognized frequency of this phenomenon [of homosexuality], its interpretation as a pathological perversion is very dubious. The psychological findings show that it is rather a matter of incomplete detachment from the hermaphroditic archetype, coupled with a distinct resistance to identify with the role of a one-sided sexual being. Such a disposition should not be adjudged negative in all circumstances, in so far as it preserves the archetype of the Original Man, which a one-sided sexual being has, up to a point, lost.’ [Carl Jung “Concerning the Archetypes and the Anima Concept,” CW 9i, par. 146./italics by me] [see footnote 1]
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It has been proposed by the Paris 4, although with reservations [see footnote 1], that only certain homosexuals [see footnote 2] possess the necessary balance of the microcosmic male and female [see footnote 3] to safely conduct the forces of resurrection[see footnote 4]. Resurrection being phase one of the Great Work of Alchemy: the furnace of Kundalini. A work serving deification of a human being from within, and possibly, through such a human being then, of all of creation in the end too, if creation is in reality microcosmic, and the world hence…

‘… my projection.’ [Schopenhauer]

This is intriguing, homosexuality being a requirement for apotheosis, since so little seems known about the cause of homosexuality. Because in spite of the fact that…

‘… the accumulation of evidence from independent laboratories across the world has shown that the biological differences between gay and straight people cannot be ignored…’ [Wilson and Rahman in Born Gay/BG hereafter]

… and we also know that…

‘…sexual orientation is largely determined by the time of birth, partly by genetics, but more specifically by hormonal activity in the womb arising from various sources…’[BG]

…it remains a mystery…

‘…how homosexuality could survive in the face of evolutionary forces*, especially given its genetic component.’ [BG]

[*Alchemy is evolution proper. [The CE2] [see footnote 5]

In their brain…

‘…gay men are found to be more like women, and lesbians show similarities to men.’ [BG] The brain of gay men and lesbian women…

‘…seems to be cross-sex shifted in certain respects, more than those of heterosexuals.’ [BG]
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quote:
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Summarizing the resurrection.

1978 : Pope John Paul (de labore solis = of the work of the sun) comes to power. During his reign 90% of the work of the sun in our gay man is taking place.

March 1986 : testicle-pain starts (the work of the sun starts)

July 1986 : testicle-pain is at his height and stays at his height till a about a week after the resurrection (September 4 1986)

End of august till September 4 1986 : our gay man becomes a child. That is, psychologically during certain minutes. During those minutes, and to his own surprise, he even produces a child’s voice. (pupulus nudus means the naked young boy and this reminds us of the words of Jesus too: you must become like a little child again if you want to enter the Kingdom of God.)

September 4 1986 (little after midnight ’silentio noctis’ ( in the silence of the night): resurrection.

a) Our man is on the floor on his back. He had his eyes closed during the whole resurrection. A ‘thread’ (very thin) is closing around his neck. The head is decapitated by that ‘thread’.

b) The stone is produced about where the liver is. The stone ignites the Kundalini fire (the fire can actually be heard) and starts to move about, increasingly violently. Fire getting stronger. Arms and legs break into pieces.

c) The snake is driven out. Our friend doesn’t know where it went. Up the spine, but after that: no clue. (Into the earth?)

d) The wheel starts to spin and is raised to the forehead.

e) One starts to descend into the earth. After 2 minutes our man ‘fell asleep’ or passed out in another hypnagogic way. Hypnagogic, because he couldn’t remember that moment the morning after. If you lose consciousness you remember. So he ‘fell asleep’.

f) 10.30 in the morning. He woke up. Coccyx and back of the head firmly attached to the floor. As said before, it took him about 30 minutes to free himself.

g) September 5 1986 : the top-chakra opens.[The Paris 4]
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quote:
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… like the authors of those letters do. What’s more, all the mysteries of alchemy seem solved. From the ludus puerorum to the decapitation, and from the role of the stone to the alchemist having to visit the center of the earth. Everything fits, and fits neatly. Even the Phoenix is explained, being a metaphor for the human body consumed and recomposed in kundalini-fire.’
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quote:
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For you will remember too that in certain grail-lore heads are taken of and replaced by other heads. Now, we are not talking about the head of flesh to be taken of. That would be lethal ofcourse. It is the microcosmic, subtle head, interwoven in the head of flesh that is taken of and replaced after the fire by a new subtle head (the Christ).

We are closing for today. If you search in alchemy, at one point you will find the expression V.I.T.R.I.O.L. (= visit the centre of the earth and by rectification you will find the stone). The alchemist- writers are quite mistaking here. We recommend our 16 words from our first mail: first the stone is produced, then the journey to the inner earth starts. The stone is found in the body, not in the earth. Mind you, everything is, in the end, found in the body. If an alchemist travels through the earth, he’s doing that in the microcosmos of the body. Remember what we said: the real sun and moon (and earth) are in you. Not outside. And this explains why our friend could still hear common street noise outside his apartment when he traveled to the centre of the earth over 19 years ago with tremendous speed.

It will be more than clear to you now that nothing ‘Christian’ has happened in the year 33. Let alone something crucial. The acts of Jesus are as fictional as the acts of Parzival.[The Paris 4]
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quote:
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“Anyone who thinks that the Paris 4 Letters are a fraud or a forgery is simply not paying attention.”
[Jay Weidner]
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quote:
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14.

“Nonetheless, the real history of the world seems, in verba Jungi, to be ‘the progressive incarnation of the deity’. When Jung spoke of this incarnation though, he was speaking of a gradual one, and of the masses, where he should have spoken of the existence of a sudden one in the individual, the alchemist.” [JRA]

15.

“If the testimony of the Paris 4 is true, and I have no reason to assume it isn’t, are we then living in the ‘Latter Days’? Petrus Bonus, who still thinks one is to be resurrected from a grave by the way, Petrus Bonus tells us that the old philosophers discerned the Last Judgement in the germination and birth of the Stone of Alchemy, the agent to the Kingdom of God.” [JRA]

16.

“This is what the Kingdom of God is like: a man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how.” [Gospel according to Mark]

17.

“[That Kingdom] grows quite the way Jesus tells us it grows; like a plant, in the body, with the full grown chakra’s as the flowers in the end.” [The Paris 4]

18.

“The Paris 4 confirm that that seed sprouts and grows by itself. They tell us their gay man had no active part in his Work of the Sun. It was all done by the inner alchemist.” [JRA]

19.

“All by itself the soil produces grain. First the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.” [Mark]

20.

“But where does all this leave us, ‘ordinary’ people, not having been decapitated by Kali Ma? Are we the tares from Matthew 13 perhaps?” [JRA]

21.

“The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:

But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.

The servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field [on September 4th 1986/Fox]? From whence then hath thy field tares? He said unto them, an enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, wilt thou then that we go and gather them up? But he said, nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of the harvest I will say to the reapers, gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.” [Matthew]

22.

“Because every tree [i.e. spine and brain/Fox] that does not bear good fruit [i.e. chakra’s/Fox] will be cut down and thrown into the fire.” [Matthew]

23.

“Without a parable he didn’t speak to them; but privately, to his own disciples, he explained all the things.” [Matthew]

24.

“It is clear that the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven are about alchemy. - But ‘why secrets?’(Nietzsche)” [Wood]

25.

“For whosoever hath [i.e. lightbody] , to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath. Therefore speak I to them in parables.” [Matthew]

26.

“Is Spitzer right then when he claims that ‘a metaphysical theory is bogus, if that theory tells us that we are all, potentially or not, children or priests of God, and equal before Him?’ Or are we to trust the CE2 who wouldn’t be surprised ‘if the gold of immortality is fetched by some for the benefit of many?’”
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In other words, Gardiner and Osborn had failed to see that the Elixir of Life is produced in the lightbody of the victorious alchemist (the Shining One), i.e. man deified. That it is a purely microcosmic elixir therefore, and not a macrocosmic one, meaning one mixed in a skull for instance and presented to some patient. In yet other words: the Elixir of Life is not swallowed, it is exclusively produced and consumed in the body of a triumphant alchemist.[de la Censerie on the Forbidden Letters]
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quote:
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[29]

‘In the human body is concealed a certain metaphysical substance which needs no medicament, being itself an incorrupt medicament.’ [Gerard Dorn]

[30]

‘The Naassenes considered Naas, the serpent, to be their central deity. (…) Eden, they said, is in the brain.’ [Carl Jung]

[31]

‘The Sethians, Hippolytus says, compared the Father with the cerebrum and the Son with the cerebellum and spinal cord.’ [Carl Jung]
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quote:
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19.

“You will be given ‘the right to eat from the tree of life [spine and brain/Bernier] that is in the garden of God,’[Revelation 2] and ‘of the hidden manna.’[Ibid] A purely microcosmic manna, dispensed by the human brain. After all, ‘Eden is in the brain,’ (Carl Jung quoting the Naassenes) and ‘the Father compared with the cerebrum.’ (Carl Jung quoting the Sethians)”

20.

“The nuptial union in the thalamus [Greek for inner chamber or bridal chamber/Bernier] signifies the hieros gamos (the alchemical wedding of the microcosmic male and female) and this in turn is the first step towards incarnation, towards the birth of the saviour who, since antiquity, was thought of as the filius solis et lunae (the son of the Sun and Moon), the filius sapientiae (the son of Wisdom), and the equivalent of Christ.” [Carl Jung]

21.

“The word thalamus (bridal chamber) is Greek. We are told that the thalamus received its name in the second century from Claudius Galen, an Ionian Greek anatomist and Christian who had studied at the Great School in Alexandria, Egypt and was a doctor at the gymnasium attached to the local sanctuary at Asklepios.” [Gary Osborn]
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One of the respondents nevertheless went so far as to say that…

‘… the Forbidden Letters by the Paris 4 are the conclusion to the mysteries of alchemy.’
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quote:
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‘You have the energy of the sun in you, but you keep knotting it up at the base of your spine.’
[Ibn Rumi]
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quote:
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‘In short, my friend, build a temple [meaning a Lightbody/Hume] from a single stone.’ [The alchemist Zosimos of Panopolis]
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http://www.world-mysteries.com/PhilipGardiner/

P.S.

The two best articles IMO are the ones by de la Censerie and RFC.

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Edited by - AYPforum on Oct 07 2007 08:41:10 AM

AYPforum

USA
327 Posts
Posted - Oct 07 2007 : 08:41:10 AM
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Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement

torino

USA
2 Posts
Posted - Oct 22 2007 : 10:36:55 AM
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Two new articles have been published:

http://www.world-mysteries.com/Phil…etters_23.htm
http://www.world-mysteries.com/Phil…etters_24.htm
Plus the Second Newsletter by the Paris 4:
(left column of : http://www.world-mysteries.com/PhilipGardiner/ )

And here are some extra quotes taken from the ‘de la Censerie’-article:

quote:
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‘Within the visible body there resides a spiritual body which Boehme compares to an ‘oil’ which must be set on fire.’[Aniane]

‘And at night, Isis (’who belonged to the cosmology of Heliopolis’ [Baring and Cashford]) placed the child in a fire to burn away all that was mortal in him.’[Baring and Cashford]

‘Texts about ‘burning Horus’ and his salvation are extant in various Egyptian and Greek documents.’[Burkert]

‘Throughout the Middle Ages, pilgrims visited Heliopolis to view the tree in whose shade, according to the Christian texts, the Holy Family rested on their flight from King Herod. [Quirke]

‘You are born once with a soul and a body, and a third agent, spirit, can come in to save that body and soul by making it immortal in the Work of the Sun.’[Hanno Temming in his article on the Forbidden Letters at World Mysteries]

‘Through baptism by fire, man, who was before dead, is made a living soul.’[Aurora Consurgens]

‘Let the dead bury the dead.’[Jesus in Matthew]

‘I am baptizing you with water, for repentance, but the one who is coming after me is mightier than I. I am not worthy to carry his sandals. He will baptize you with the holy Spirit and fire.’[John the Baptist in Matthew]

‘Nothing depends on baptism with water. Baptism with water only symbolizes the fact that we were born through water, meaning biologically born. We need two births to be saved. The one through water which gives us our spine and brain, the Tree of Life, that infrastructure for the Work of the Sun, and a second one through fire, when God plants our Tree of Life in that fire ‘to stand everlasting.’ So it’s silly to say that you need to be baptized. You need to be biologically born through water, and to be born again though fire. That fire being the alchemical one called Kundalini, that water being the water of the womb. People who practise baptism and think anything depends on that confuse the symbol with the real thing.’[Fenelon]

‘Whoever is near me, is near the fire, whoever is far from me, is far from the Kingdom.’[Jesus in Thomas]

‘Kundalini either saves or destroys.’[de Beaumont]

‘You Christ, who are all fire, have mercy on me.’[Ephraem the Syrian]

It is Valentines Day and a good day ro reach out to a male energy and say “I know of Isis”

I was encouraged to write of my spirital awakenings and I have sent you a copy. Rather long comment hey?

I feel your ernest desire for Isis and the feminine energy return and it is this desire that pulls me to be honest with you.

Two years ago, whiilst in the depths of deep suicidal depression I lay on my healing couch and beged someone to help me.

I felt an energy come into me and after being told that I must go for training every day, I was left with a sense of peace.

Over the next few days, intrigued I did as asked. One day, I experienced a huge set of wings behind me. My consciousness rebelled “Fuck off if you think I an going to work with an angel!!!’ (I have an abiding distaste for all Bliss Niinnies, gurus et al)

But I carried on. Only much later, having asked this “energy” to identify itself, did I discover that she called herself Isis (though when she wrote the second ‘S’ was written backwards. Also said it was not really her correct name.

Having no desire to put myself out there as a “channeller of Isis” I was willing to carry on working with this energy because it was helping me so much. Perhaps it is my highest feminine energy. But she has said some things which amaze me.

Most weird of all is my connection with Oxford. I was re=tried at Oxford Crown Court yet I should have been re-tried at Birmingham. By Law. I dreamt of going to OPxford University and meeting a python just days before the first contact. In Oxford, the river Thames becomes the Isis.

Oh there are so many things I can tell you, but no point in wasting my time if you are not interested. But Isis allows. I feel that Isis is the voice of DNA. The power of change and there is nothing special about me, I have tapped into that voice.

Your writings are brave and wonderful, so intuitive and deep. Thank you.

February 23rd, 1990 finds me in this life, standing in the dock at Birmingham Crown Court, listening to the judge (Judge Igor Judge a double whammy just to make sure) pronounce me guilty of the murder of my husband, sentencing me to life imprisonment.

I knew it was coming, I knew weeks earlier with the terrible turmoil in my solar plexus, which could only be soothed with alcohol. I knew the last time I left my house and cupped my daughter’s face as I walked out the door that my soul was saying “goodbye” I knew as I played “Land of Hope and Glory” on the long drive to court so as to gain courage for the ordeal ahead. But I pretended not to know.

I was so shut down, so unaware, that at that time, I did not even understand what “insight” was. I operated as a completely unconscious Being, with all the programmes I brought in with me to play out. Only when the programmes reached their final conclusion was I allowed to awaken. Memory is as multi-layered as life so I can see now with the consciousness that oversaw my life but lay seemingly dormant within me. Like a butterfly looking back on its life as a caterpillar.

That afternoon, now officially a murderess, stripped of my freedom, my family and what little self respect I ever had, I left the court building in a large bus with all the other prisoners. I saw my husband’s family on the pavement, laughing and celebrating. Their happiness increased my despair and I curled deeper into the seat. A female voice within me said, “This is not the end, it is the beginning” And so it proved to be…

Within a week of being in prison, despite the hardships of learning the ways and rules of prison life, I began to feel buoyed by a sense of adventure. I told people that I would be out in 5 years, by the age of 40. They thought me mad, but I knew.

In May 1990, I was transferred to Durham “H” Wing, home of Britain’s 30 most dangerous women, a motley assortment of murderers, IRA terrorists and an East German spy. Letters from this time can be found in a book “Love on the Wing”

I adapted well to life in Durham. I liked being alone for twelve hours a day, I liked the gym facilities, the education, and I even joined the church. I figured that only God could forgive me for being such a failure as a wife and mother, so I decided to find God. If I found God then maybe I could find myself. I asked to be shown a new way to live …oops!

I ransacked the prison library for books on God, spirituality, anything that could help me in my quest. In one book, I read of a man who was transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit, so I figured that was a good place to start. Every night, after lock-in I would kneel by my bed and earnestly beg God to fill me with the Holy Spirit. Then I would lie in bed and try to leave my body so that I could astral travel and see my daughter.

At the beginning of August, I wrote a letter to a national newspaper about my situation. It was printed and as a result I met my first healer man. GD gave me what I had never received from my father, approval, love and respect. With these wounds in my psyche plugged if not healed, I began to feel huge amounts of energy in my heart. Sometimes the heat throughout my body was almost unbearable. I felt alive for the first time in my life. When it got too much I would take a cold shower or run around the exercise yard. I blamed it on the heating but I knew.

At night I began a series of what I called “roaring dreams” This was because they always started with clicks and then a roaring sound in my head. They were dreams where I was awake and aware but powerless in bed. On one occasion the window of my cell flung open and a terrible wind rushed in and blew everything round in my cell. I screamed and screamed with fear, but suddenly I was back in normal space and it stopped. I real*eyesed that it was not real. I had not screamed. There was no wind.

Other nights as I lay in bed, I felt an invisible weight pressing down on me so I could not move and I would be filled with a deep sense of love and peace.

I wrote to GD about the film 2010 whereby Dave Bowman, the star child returns to Earth and says, ‚ÄúSomething wonderful is going to happen‚Äù because I could only relate what was happening within me by rlating some one else’s drama.

Things came to a climax in early October. I became ill with what the doctor termed “viral bronchitis” and was locked in my cell for fear of infecting the other women. I did not feel ill, I felt wild with life and rage and the doctor just did what he thought best. Perhaps I had a fever, I do not recall now. But I could not sleep, I could not eat, I just drank coffee and smoked and paced and smoked and paced. Even the sleeping medication they gave me one night had little effect. I wrote copious letters to GD about my past, my childhood, my pain. Everything just started to pour out of me. GD said he felt that it was a psychic vomiting of all the abuse.

Finally on the third night, very late, still pacing, I felt myself pulled down ~
down ~
down. I saw my life unfold as a series of decisions, all based on hate or anger or fear. I saw clearly that this was because of my own self-hatred, taught me by a father who could not love me, not because I was bad, as I had always believed, but because I was a girl child. And with this knowledge came…

LIGHT! LOVE!

My cell seemed to be filled with light and I was filled with the light and the most awesome LOVE. It exploded into every cell of my Being and I knew that nothing I ever did could stop this love. I was the Love and I was the Light.

Next morning I flew out of my cell. The doctor pronounced me cured. My hair seemed to stand on end; energy sparkled out of me. I kissed the governor of the prison (which he liked) and tried to preach to all the women, I started to climb on to a table to tell them this wonderful truth. But one of the IRA terrorists pulled me down “Behave” she said, “and be quiet or you will end up in Broadmoor” (Britain’s prison for the criminally insane)

I decided to challenge “God” so I positioned myself at the head of the queue in church and drank all the communion wine in one go. When I saw the horrified face of the serving inmate, I started to laugh and choked a bit on the wine, but nothing BAD happened to me. God did not punish me. It was all a huge joke! Eventually I left the church in my usual dramatic fashion, refusing suddenly to read the lesson as asked. “I can’t read this shit” I said to a startled congregation, “The bible was edited by an ecumenical council in 553 AD to leave out the reincarnation that Jesus taught. It is political and spiritual blackmail.” Two women walked out with me (not bad for a congregation of five) and I caused a great uproar. Lovely drama, preparing me for what was to come.

As a result of this re-birth, I also began learning healing in prison. I taught myself reflexology and brought in crystals. One day I watched my hands “disappear” into the shoulders of a young woman who had just come out of hospital after slicing her inner arms open with a razor. Pink light poured from my palms.

I also deepened my quest for justice, which included a 19-day hungerstrike that electrified the UK and saw me in newspapers and on television.

The night before the hungerstrike commenced, as I was lying in bed, some heavenly Beings came and took me out of my body, laid me on a silver table and gave me a huge injection into the occipital. “It will not hurt” they assured me when I shrank at the size of the needle. Then they returned me to my bed.

Hunger strikes hurt. For the first few days I was locked in a hospital cell with steaming hot food placed in front of me three times a day. The prison governor was under political orders to make me eat. But I found the strength to resist.

My father sent me a letter telling me to stop the strike, behave myself and do my sentence like a good girl. I tore it up and felt the cords of approval - seeking break!!! Hurrah!!

My hungerstrike seemed to galvanize thousands of women who had hitherto remained silent about their abuse. They filled coaches and arrived in London to march in protest. Many sat outside the prison holding nightly candlelit vigils. I received sack loads of mail from people who wanted me to live. Only much later, years after leaving prison, did I read that on August 8th, 1990, exactly halfway through my hungerstrike, the Giza stargate known as “THE LIONS GATE” activated. This stargate has served as Earth’s primary inter dimensional doorway for energy exchange and initiation…” etc etc etc. I knew somewhere!!!

This birth of a new feminine in me connected with a birth for people from all walks of life. Suddenly everyone was talking about the law and domestic violence. My case was debated in parliement; a road was named after me, as was the student bar in Sheffield. I even took part in a stage play by leaving a message on an answer phone, which was played at the end of the last act! I went where no woman prisoner had ever gone before. Of course patriarchy hated it and there were some malevolent forms of retaliation.

My friendship with GD ended and the next healer man entered my life. He was a famous lawyer and he sent me his photo. Just seeing him in the newspaper or hearing his name would make my body tingle. Of course, I did not understand that stuck in a woman’s prison I needed a male etheric pattern to copy and so I believed it was a spiritual romance, we were meant to be etc etc etc. The fact that he was married and could not have a friendship with me let alone anything else without losing his job did not matter. I latched on to him with all the determination I needed to get what I wanted. I sent him love songs, heart shaped tomatoes that I grew by chanting “om” and passionate love letters. To his credit, he took it all in his stride and acted very appropriately.

Building a new diamond body can take a long time and a lot of adventures which included chanting my chakras, more fasting and learning to communicate with vegeyables so it was not until 1995 that I finally met healer man number 2. I had been granted leave to appeal, but was still a resident of Her Majesty the Queen in Holloway prison. I spent most of my life now in a very expanded state of awareness, teaching crystal healing, and angelwing growing. I could lie in my bed and ask for healing on my left leg and I would feel gentle etheric fingers working on me. Of course, I was so out of my body it was ridiculous but prison will do that. With all physical needs taken care of, there is no need for a strong root chakra. And the walls provide such safety that…

Every archetypal energy can manifest; one night asleep lying on my belly, a beautiful waterman entered me during a roaring dream. The sex was fantastic and my body was still vibrating the next morning. As we reached orgasm together, I felt/saw the sea flooding my belly. Next morning, in the light of day, I was scared that I was pregnant with etheric jellyfish. Seriously.

Early July, healing man number 2 was scheduled to visit me. The night before the legal appointment, I dreamt that I was sorting through a large pyramid pile of washed men’s socks and I could not find the pair to the one I held in my hand. It had pink and green diamonds on it. Suddenly I felt someone behind me and there was healing man 2 with the matching sock.

When we finally met, he sat opposite me and seemed to shrink into the chair. Of course he was scared. I looked under the table and sure enough, he was wearing socks with diamonds on them. I asked him to apply for bail on my behalf and at first he refused, but I insisted. Never mind his legal fears, it was time for me to go.

After he left, walking back to my cell, I threw my legal papers in the air and shouted, “I have done it!” I did not know what I had done, but I KNEW I had done it. The officer escorting me was at a loss to know what I was talking about.

And that night…wow! I expanded and expanded until I was WOMAN/GODDESS incarnate. There were stars above my head, my feet rested on a crescent moon and the earth snuggled comfortably in my belly. I was everything. “Oh why did I worry so much” I said to myself. I touched my heart on healer man 2 and knew with a slight sense of sadness that it was finished. He had given me the final key I needed.

Sitting in front of my makeshift prison altar, I felt myself encompass the woman who five years earlier had sat in abject misery leaving the court in a bus. I reached out to her “It is not the end but the beginning” I whispered.

Several nights later, as I lay in bed, the familiar roaring started. “I’d best let them in,” I thought and immediately an energy entered my body through the top of my head. It scanned me from bottom to top and then it zig zagged across the back of my head three times, left to right, right to left and then back again. Something was sealed. “She is ready” I heard/felt. This energy had no love no compassion, I felt like a car at the end of a production line.

On the morning of July 28th, I was summoned to the office and informed by phone that I had been granted bail. “Do not tell anyone,” said my solicitor’s assistant. I walked back to my cell slightly dazed and told two close friends who had seen my face and followed me. Minutes later a noise erupted. It took me a few moments to real*eyes that it was the sound of windows being slammed open and shut. There had been a newsflash on the television to say that I was being released and this was the women’s way of celebrating. Clapping mega time.

I went to the TV lounge and was greeted by all the black women who had lifted their “t” shirts to show their breasts and were jumping up and down. What could I do but add my wee buds to the general excitement. Probably one of the most beautiful moments ever. Talk about the feminine being set free!

Perhaps it was political manipulation, but the press lined up all day in a blazing hot sun to wait for me, and I was not released until after 8pm that night. I look at the pictures now and I see someone I do not know. Women have since told me that they waited all day for my release in a state of high tension and drank champagne and wept when I walked out because they felt that something within them was released as well. A woman journalist wrote, “Who does she think she is? The Virgin Mary?” The morphic field does it’s work, we really are all One.

And what of my Beloved husband? He has appeared to me on a few occasions. The first time I saw him clearly, I had asked my solicitor for a copy of all the psychiatric notes from my trials. She gave them to me with reservations. ( I am a happy personality order) I sat in a caf?©, drinking wine and reading them. I wept when I saw that the abuse of my childhood was clearly visible to them but not voiced at my trials. Out of my right eye I saw my husband in spirit. ‚ÄúWhat are you doing here?‚Äù I asked him. ‚ÄúI am always with you when there is anything to do with our trials‚Äù he answered. ‚ÄúWhy haven‚Äôt I seen you before?‚Äù I asked. ‚ÄúBecause you consciously blocked it,‚Äù he said, ‚ÄúOnly now with the wine to shelter your psyche will you see me clearly‚Äù

In 2004, he appeared again. No words, just a presence on my left side, sitting in a field of energy that slowly turned to gold over a few days and disappeared. I knew he had gone to the higher realms and I wept at his departure.

But last December, whilst playing a game with two friends, he suddenly appeared again, leaning against the corner of the window. I saw him with the eyes of my new found heart energy and it felt as if his face was aglow and the sun just shone out of his smile. He looked at me with such love and acceptance that I wept. “The drama is done” he said, “It is over”

Coming out of prison and learning to live a life without the constant attention of my spirit friends was very hard. I also had to adapt to not being famous anymore; this was a conscious choice. The icon that I became in prison was as a perceived victim and I was not prepared to dis honour the masculine principle by being aligned with the feminine groups who abdicated all responsibility for abuse. Even though my father was the chief prosecution witness at my re-trial, I had enough spiritual awareness by then to know it was part of our soul plan. I figured that men constitute half the population and half of me so I had better learn to love them or live at war for the rest of my life.

Sometimes I feel as if I have lived too much. As if I have had too many experiences for one human to integrate. I have consciously left all this behind because, like a hard drive that has used up it’s full quota of megabytes, I feel over full. Writing this has brought me in touch with feelings of resentment. As I screamed to my long dead soul mates in Qumran “You never told me it would be so hard!!!!”

http://www.jfw.org.uk/casehistories.htm

http://www.angryharry.com/meLooseWomen.htm

http://www.guardian.co.uk/crime/article/0,2763,877844,00.html

http://www.innocent.org.uk/misc/jfw.html

http://www.parliament.the-stationery-office.co.uk/pa/cm199394/cmhansrd/1994-05-17/Debate-2.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=419559&in_page_id=1770